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kôr-ĭ-spŏn-dəns

7 May 2010

This week, me and the Internet haven’t gotten along well. I’ve been called an ingrate, a pedant, a freak, and a fatso (all by different people, and no — none of them were spammers or anonymous flamers). My tongue is so sore from all the biting it really wants me to take another break from electronic media. (I argued this point with my tongue because since all of this happened online, it’s not like I couldn’t respond out loud — the other person couldn’t hear me. My tongue replied that my response perhaps confirmed my pedantic nature. I responded by biting it. We are currently not talking.)

That’s why I was particularly sensitive this morning when a business email came to me, addressed to “Mr.” Now, I don’t have a girly name, but jeez-louise, there’s a pretty famous female model with my name. If you’re not sure, then don’t give me an honorific, just write Dear Peaceable Imperatrix, since I sign my emails with my first and last name, anyway.

But really, what’s bothering me is that I was taken by the Abstract Expressionist stamps currently offered at the post office, so I bought a sheet. But since I don’t write letters anymore, these will probably end up being used to mail off some bills.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Three of Four permalink
    7 May 2010 2:17 pm

    I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough week. I recommend a smoothie (or milkshake!) for your tongue, the “hide” feature of whatever social media your using, the addition of “Ms.” before your email signature to this particular business correspondant, and a long walk (with, perhaps, spontaneous yoga poses thrown in).

    The weekend is just a few hours away and, if none of this helps you feel better, the Hobbit and the Princess are just a phone call away (and are more than happy to tell you all about how they learned the meaning “LMNO” [that’s “LMAO” to the rest of us…]).

    • Peaceable Imperatrix permalink*
      7 May 2010 2:48 pm

      What I want to know is: what do you guys call an ass in your household??? The words I can think of to fit with the meaning of LMAO but that’s N—- instead are no less crude than the original “ass”.

  2. 7 May 2010 2:57 pm

    Laughing my knees off?

  3. Three of Four permalink
    8 May 2010 6:42 pm

    We didn’t come up with an “N” word! For some reason, even though they know it should be “A,” they keep saying “N.” So, when they try to say “LMAO” with all the ‘tude of a valley teen, but end up saying “LMNO,” it’s pretty hard for any of us to keep a straight face.

    We have been coming up with some good “N” words, though, now that you’ve suggested it…

  4. 11 May 2010 9:10 am

    Oh, don’t use them to mail bills. Send bills online and stick the stamps on your refrigerator or something.

  5. Peaceable Imperatrix permalink*
    11 May 2010 9:33 am

    We pay some bills online, but some bills it’s better to have the cushion of snail mail (when you’re a freelancer, that can be important!). I did look for grown-up penpal lists online, but they lean towards romantic penpals, and that’s just not what I’m looking for.

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