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The Funniest Headline I’ve Read in a While:

17 December 2008

Bush Prepares Crisis Briefings to Aid Obama

I’ve stayed away from politics for the past few months, because the election made everything better. But really — Bush is going to share his statescraft “wisdom” with Obama?

After my laughter at the headline died down, I realized that this headline was followed by some perfectly absurd Cheneyan text:

The memorandums envision a variety of volatile possibilities, like a North Korean nuclear explosion, a cyberattack on American computer systems, a terrorist strike on United States facilities overseas or a fresh outbreak of instability in the Middle East, according to people briefed on them. Each then outlines options for Mr. Obama to consider.

That sounds more like Bush administration wet dreams than anything else, to me.

Ooops, I was wrong. This here is the wet dream:

The Bush team has also invited Obama transition officials to attend a “national level exercise” set for Jan. 12 and 13 that may play out what would happen if the top leadership of the nation were wiped out in a single stroke, officials said.

Can’t you see it?:

“Allow me to step in for this interim period of trauma. Heck, I’ve got eight years of experience running this country under my belt; I’ll just keep the seat warm until the remnants of Congress can decide what to do next.

“Oh, by the way? I’m instituting a curfew. And a temporary withholding of the right to assembly. Just to keep the American people … safe.”

James Jay Carafano, a national security expert at the Heritage Foundation [a conservative think tank], said much of the apparatus of government would know what to do in the event of a crisis. The real test for Mr. Obama will be projecting leadership.

“For a president thinking about crisis management,” Mr. Carafano said, “the most important thing is not decision making, it’s public relations.”

Umm, no, Mr. Carafano. Public relations is what the Bush administration was all about (Michael Brown and the famous “ROLL UP THE SLEEVES!”, anyone?). Barack Obama is about change. I have no doubt that if there were a national crisis, Obama would show intelligence and thoughtful decision-making, qualities which naturally convey true confidence. Not the blind bravado shown in the past eight years.

But thanks for the laugh!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 17 December 2008 11:26 am

    The sad thing is that the Bushites cannot entertain any scenarios other than bizarre, dark, weird ones.

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