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Answer WeekFortnight: Day 4

12 May 2008

Stew asked, What’s one thing you’d like to accomplish in the next year? The next four years?

I never liked this type of question, because I am so bad at answering it. Why am I so bad at it? I’ll tell you why.

In the next year, I want to write and submit at least one story.
(This has been on my goal list for the past 10 years.)

In the next year, I want to tone up my biceps and get that tattoo.
(This has been on my goal list for the past 5 years.)

See what I mean? I don’t have much self-motivation. If I have the choice between surfing the Web and doing something productive, I will most likely pick the Web.

A large part of this lack of self-motivation is fear. My inner Editor is pretty powerful. She is supported by that Perfectionist who took up residence back when I was a toddler. Both of these Ladies scare the bejeesus out of me. I’ve tried writing through their commentary, but they are pretty damn loud.

In classic perfection form, I would much rather do nothing than do something imperfectly. I really like the stories floating in my mind. Heck, some of them have been with me for almost a decade. But if I wrote them down, it’s more than likely they wouldn’t be perfect. And that would suck. And make me sad.

Yes, yes — I know: “You can’t become a better writer unless you write”! As some random blogger whose name and blog I’ve forgotten said, she was sitting around, wanting to be a writer until she realized that it’s not like she would get a call out of the blue from some publishing house, who just so happened to have an opening for a Writer.

I know all this, but here I am waiting for that call. Every year. Perhaps blogging it here for you all will get things moving. I hope so. But with my track record, it’s not likely, is it?

I’m also kind of lazy. It wouldn’t be that hard to tone my biceps. And I’ve started hand-weight routines multiple times. But I’ve dropped those routines multiple times, too. It’s always the week that I decide I need to stop snacking that I find a mouth-watering dessert recipe. Or it’s one of those work/familiy/life stress weeks. Pshaw.

What I need is a deadline. A timeline. And that’s why I’m pretty sure that my four-year goal will actually be met:

In four years, I will be the mom of a college student.

And this is when I start thinking that home-school college is really something I should look into.

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