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Things You Didn’t Know About Me, Part 1

29 August 2006

Oh, friends, there are so many contradictory things about me, sometimes I amaze even myself. Today, I will admit to something that I know will surprise you: I, anti-establishment anti-consumerist Lefty that I am, visit Mighty Goods on a regular basis. I had convinced myself that this was just innocent voyeuristic fun, peeping* into the lives of those with disposable income, who weren’t afraid to use it on frivolous items that they’d tire of by the time the next fashion season rolled around. It allowed me to smugly shake my head at these consumerists, these people who are clearly one of the reasons for our culture’s decline.

I mean, come on — a retro apron for $40? A Hostess Twinkies Non-Stick Baking Pan? Silly, silly, American consumers.

But then, they blogged about over-the knee socks.

…Over-the-knee socks? Interesting… Hmm, they look kind of cool. And I really don’t like panty-hose; and I like to wear skirts in the winter; and living in an old house (and working in the coldest room of the house) is chilly on bare legs… Hmmmmm.

So I went to Sock Dreams, looked around a bit, (hey! no shipping costs!), (oooh! and look! made in the USA!), and ordered three pairs of over-the-knee socks (O Basics, O Woolies, and O Marled). Very fast service, very nice folks. I ordered size L, because I am tall (2 deviations from the mean, that’s me!).

When the socks arrived, there was a bit of a mishap in that I was so excited to receive the order that I used scissors to open the bag and inadvertently snipped into one of the socks (drat! drat! double-drat!!). Never fear — I will darn the sock and all will be well (the snip won’t be visible under a long, warm, winter skirt).

But I digress.

There will be some shrinkage (these are mostly natural fibers with only a bit of spandex for elasticity). However, on one pair of socks, the foot is really too big. Curious, huh? I’ll give them a wash and see if they fit better after the shrinkage; but even if they don’t, I’ll be able to fix that problem, too (with sewing machine and scissors [under-control scissors, that is]).

But why would they be bigger than what would fit my (normal-sized) feet? Isn’t that funny? I went back and surfed the site some more, and something became clear to me that had been hidden from me during my first visit. I have no one to blame but myself for this. Really, I should have been better able to master the consumerist urge brought on by reading Mighty Goods.

It seems that it wouldn’t only be anti-chic clothes people like me who would be excited by non-traditional legwear. Readers, let us all pause for a moment as we absorb the fact that I, Peaceable Imperatrix, happen to have joined the same demographic as foot fetishists and male cross-dressers.**

*I am an avid window peeper. This makes the Consort uncomfortable. I argue that hey, if people leave their curtains open and their lights on, they are just asking for it. This is why I make a point of drawing the curtains closed at our house every night. I don’t want some weirdos peeping into my house; I know what kind of weirdos are out there looking into people’s homes!

**Not that there is anything wrong with cross-dressers. (Foot fetishists, now that’s another story.)

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