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Oh, My My. Oh, My Oh My.

7 December 2005

[Note to the Elder Imperatrix-in-Training: You’d be less discomfited if you didn’t read this. Trust me.]

Someone just pointed me to this article on Scooter Libby’s 1996 sex novel, “The Apprentice.” Jeepers creepers, those Conservative Leaders are pervs. Deer necrophilia, and – bears and little girls, fer crissakes! And to think it took him twenty years to write this. My oh my. Really, you should go read the review for yourself, but don’t be drinking anything while you are doing it – you may ruin a perfectly good keyboard. And don’t do it at work with the door open, your gales of laughter will disturb your co-workers.

I really shouldn’t be surprised. For instance, I’m sure there’s a very easy paper to write there about the whole domination thing (“Giving it to The Man: International Roles in Third-Rate Pornographic Writing”). And what better way to write about that metaphorically than with Asian women (e.g., T’sa Li) and Western men [How do I know it’s Western men? Rand’s glans, you know – not Gua Yong’s dong (… as in “ding dong bell” Elder daughter, la di dah, the world is sweet and peaceful…)].

This is probably why they work so hard to continuously criminalize homosexuality: They can’t get their jollies unless something is against the law (VPs dying of heart attacks *with their mistress* [in this case, biblical law, “That Which Trumps all Other Law”], etc.). Homosexuality is becoming so mainstream these days they can’t really reach levels of pleasure (she still may be reading, folks) unless we’re talking Cervidae and Carnivora Ursidae. And remember, these people don’t want to be anything like the liberal elite, so who can get Mr. Big happy using THOSE big words?

Wait! I thought of another paper topic: “Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Turning Fantasy into Reality, The First Step in Proving that Saddam Actually Had Ties with al Qaeda”.

Anybody else want to try? Just pick something from the article (Buckley would be hardest, I think), and give me a serious paper topic. Let’s give Haloscan a workout. USE that Comments feature!

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